Nick Houpt: 0:02

Welcome back to the Life Well Balanced Podcast, where we explore how purpose, compassion, and connection can reshape the way we live and lead. Today I sit down with Stacy Shui, founder and CEO of Hands for Life, a global nonprofit creating intergenerational communities where orphaned children and isolated seniors come together to form new families, rediscover purpose, and heal through connection. Stacy's story is powerful, heartfelt, and rooted in faith, resilience, and a deep belief in impact and love. In this episode, we cover how Hands for Life is reimagining elder care and youth mentorship through intergenerational living and learning. Stacy's journey through personal tragedy, loss, and the faith that helped her transform pain into her purpose. Lessons from the blue zones on longevity, simplicity, and the role of community. How leading with love, presence, and intentionality can bring balance back into a busy world. This is a conversation filled with purpose, compassion, and wisdom you can carry into your everyday life. So take a breath, open your heart, and settle in. This is the Life Well Balance Podcast with Stacy Shui and me, your host, Nick Haup. This episode of the Life Well Balance Podcast is brought to you by Life Force Healing. If you've ever felt like your body is carrying stress, tension, or old patterns you just can't shake, body coating is a gentle, powerful process that helps identify and release trapped energy, restoring balance to your mind, body, and spirit. Life Force Healing is here to guide you toward realignment, resilience, and renewal. Because when your energy flows freely, you live freely. Learn more at lfhealing.com. We're also sponsored by IV Lux Infusion, a luxury mobile IV hydration service that brings wellness straight to your doorstep. Whether you're recovering from a long weekend, preparing for peak performance, or just need a boost, their licensed medical professionals deliver hydration and nutrients tailored to your body's needs. Think of it as a premium self-care administered safely and comfortably wherever you are. IV Luxinfusion, wellness redefined. Book your session today at IVLuxinfusion.com. And don't forget to use the promo code LIFEWELLBALANS. This is the Life Well Balanced Podcast with me, your host, Nick Hal.

Speaker 2: 3:01

A life well balanced for me.

Nick Houpt: 3:03

For me, a life well balanced is simply life well balanced is. I think a life well balanced is well Stacey Shuey. Yes. It is very good to see you.

Speaker 2: 3:14

Nice to see you.

Nick Houpt: 3:15

I'm so happy and grateful that you decided to come in here and hang out with us for a little bit and help get a message out there of of what you're doing, how you're doing it, and what kind of positive impact you're looking to create in the world. And I want to start by acknowledging you for always being a very kind presence. From the day we met, you gave me a hug the first time we didn't even know each other, and you always have this calm about you, and you can tell that you are very intentional and just a wonderfully sweet woman. So thank you for being who you are.

Stacy Shewey: 3:53

Thanks for the kind words. Of course.

Nick Houpt: 3:56

So we're gonna jump in and we start with what we call the who, what, and why.

Stacy Shewey: 4:02

Okay.

Nick Houpt: 4:02

And it it's a big question. It could take some time, that's fine, but it's it's to really dive deep into who you are. So who has inspired you to become the woman you are today? What experiences have you gone through that molded and shaped you into you? And why do you do what you do?

Stacy Shewey: 4:24

Okay. Well, the who, I was adopted and from birth, and I was adopted into an Italian family. And Graham and Grandpa lived downstairs from us. So we were in an intergenerational home, and my grandparents really influenced who I am today. I adored my grandparents. They were when you think of Archie and Edith Bunker from All in the Family, it was my grandparents. Grandpa was loud and crass, but he was the big teddy bear. And then grandma was the one who doted over everybody. And being in an intergenerational home was such a blessing because, you know, if my mom was busy or sick, or you know, grandma grandpa were there, they were picking us up from sports and making yummy dinners, Italian Sunday family dinners together. And so family is really important to me. And I loved the grandparent grandchild relationship, and I wanted my kids to have that and experience that. So when my kids were little, my parents lived right next door to us. And uh that was more like everybody loves Raymond.

Nick Houpt: 5:52

Yeah.

Stacy Shewey: 5:53

My mom was like the mother in that show, and then my brother is big and tall, and then my husband looks like Ray Romano. So we were like that family where grandma would barge in, you know, and kind of be in everybody's business all the time. But we loved it. And the kids, you know, if they got in trouble with us, they'd go next door and cry to grandma and grandpa, you know. So yeah, it was really my family who shaped me. My parents and my grandparents were very influential. Okay. Yeah.

Nick Houpt: 6:26

And that kind of ties in with the the what experiences to bring you to what you're doing now with the intergenerational learning. And so let's talk about Hands for Life. And you are the the founder CEO of Hands for Life. So let's dive into what your organization is, what you're all about, what do you do, and what you're looking to accomplish.

Stacy Shewey: 6:51

Yeah, so I always have had a heart for seniors. And I was an entrepreneur for most of my career and but in hospitality. And we lived in Chicago area, and my daughter decided to go to the University of Tampa. So we said, if you're getting out of the cold, so you want to get out of the cold. And she's like, No, you can't follow me. I'm trying to get rid of you people. So here we go. Grandma and grandpa come down to Florida, and we all moved down here. And I took a job as an executive director for an assistant living memory care community. And I thought that was going to be my dream job. You know, I love the elderly. And it was just uh the company that took over about a year after I was there, they were just about the almighty dollar. You know, it was cut staff, cut staff, cut staff. And so, you know, that really was eye-opening to me about the industry. And I really got to see firsthand a lot of the problems within senior living. And there's a lot of good that happens in senior living, but there is a lot of problems as well. And healthcare in general. I left there and a friend of mine who was in the industry, he said we had lunch and he's like, Stacy, I know everybody in Jacksonville. I can get you any job. I'm like, Jay, I can get just any job, but I don't want just any job. I want a job where I'm making a difference every day in somebody's life. You know, I'm in my 50s now and I want to have my swan song be something impactful. And I had always felt like I was supposed to do something important, something big. And so he said to me, if you could do anything, what would it be? And I said, Well, I'd go care for seniors in developing countries. I think that would be wonderful. And I said, But I got three kids in college, I can't go be a missionary right now. And so he encouraged me. He's like, All right, well, start your own nonprofit doing that. And so I took uh three months to write a business plan, pray through it, and God led me to Hance for Life. And it's uh it's a really beautiful organization where we care for seniors on a global scale, because it's a global aging crisis that we're addressing, with the solution being the younger generation. So we paired the seniors with the children. So orphaned seniors, those who have nobody and nothing, with orphaned children and bringing them together, and together they form a beautiful new family.

Nick Houpt: 9:50

And what I like about what you're doing too is with that intergenerational learning, the the younger generation gets to learn from the older generation with the trades that they did to make a living and everything like that when when they were working full time and everything too. And I know you had mentioned oh, and fun fact, I lived with my grandparents too. Did you? So my my my dad lived with my grandparents up until I was about eleven or twelve. And then we moved out on our own. But my grandparents were very young, they weren't really grandparents. Yes.

Stacy Shewey: 10:29

You have great memories of that time.

Nick Houpt: 10:30

Oh yeah.

Stacy Shewey: 10:31

Yeah.

Nick Houpt: 10:31

Yeah. Especially this time of year, Christmas time and everything. It's it really makes you but let's let's talk about that intergenerational learning. Can you dive deeper into what you're doing? I know that you are looking to raise money to build what would you call it, a a place.

Stacy Shewey: 10:54

Intergenerational educational campus.

Nick Houpt: 10:57

A campus. Yes. Can you talk about that?

Stacy Shewey: 11:00

Yeah. The vision is that we just have this campus that is educational, but it is a living, breathing educational uh project in that we will house 14 children, orphaned foster care children, and 14 seniors. And they'll have their separate space, but they will be under one roof. And they'll come together to break bread at the end of the day, share their stories, and really, like I said, create a beautiful family. And on the campus, there'll be career workshops so the seniors can teach the kids a trade, whether it's cosmetology or, you know, welding or woodworking, whatever, you know, trade that they have, the seniors can impart their wisdom onto the children. And then the whole we're teaching like the cycle of life. The children learn to honor and respect their seniors. And we're trying to really bring home the fact that this circle of life where your parents brought you into this world, you do have an obligation to be there for them in their last season when they need you. So, you know, a lot here in the states, people move all over the world and families don't stay together. And it is a problem with the aging population where there's nobody to care for them and senior living is so expensive. So, can we change our culture? Can we change the way that we're living? Can we start getting back to God's original intention of living life simply? I was just in Okinawa, Japan, studying the blue zones. So, like in Japan, they live really long, healthy lives. So, by simple matters of what they eat, natural movement, believing in a higher power. But one of the biggest keys is community. And we need to get back to that. I don't know about you. When you were a kid, did did you know your neighbors? Did you hang out with your neighbors? Yeah.

Nick Houpt: 13:22

We actually had a woman, an an old woman from Italy, didn't even speak English, Pia. Her name was Pia. And we would go and she'd always have little candies for us and stuff, and we never knew what she was saying, but we were able to communicate just with body language, and yeah, we we knew all the neighbors, all the kids played together. I think that that's kind of going away in this day and age, and it's it's a shame because I was saying to someone too, I said we are the most disconnected in such a connected world. Yes. And it's a shame. And to touch on the blue zone stuff, because I we actually had a few people talking about blue zones on here in previous episodes. And one thing I I saw in the documentary, the Live to 100 documentary, I think they said with Japan, another small reason of why they are healthy longer is because they sit on the floor. So they're constantly going all the way down and stepping back up and just little things like that. And you had said about living simpler. So being here in the States and running a company and having children, what does living simpler look like for you?

Stacy Shewey: 14:36

Well, I I think we need to look at our history, the past, and how families engaged with each other and with their neighbors and their community and their church and take what worked back then, the good. And we can look at, you know, the technology that we have now and the ways that we could be more efficient now to save time and and blend the two. But I think we have lost the goodness of simple life, where when I was a child, you know, we would go out into the front yard and you know, my neighbor would bring the guitar, my mom played the accordion, and the kids all were out there, and the parents were out there, and we were just having fun, singing and dancing. So I think we need to come together as a community. Where you said in Japan they, you know, sit on the floor and they're up and down. It's natural movement. You know, we now do fast food and you know uh our drive-throughs, everything. Get back to planting a garden, you know, eating healthy, focusing on, you know, just even biblical principles on how we are to eat, you know, a Daniel diet, uh, how we're supposed to love and be in community. And I think COVID really put a spotlight on how isolation is so harmful. You know, mental health is so such an issue here.

Nick Houpt: 16:19

Yeah.

Stacy Shewey: 16:20

So how how can we teach a different way of doing it? So that's here in Jacksonville, we're looking to build this first intergenerational educational campus and bring people to this campus, and we'll have a whole farm like aguaponic farming to teach and uh just relationships, you know, teaching that. And even, you know, with churches nowadays, the kids go off to their ministry and you know, the adults are in the main sanctuary and the two don't mix. So we're trying at Hance for Life to bring generations together intentionally now because it's not a given that generations know each other and are in relationship with each other, which is sad.

Nick Houpt: 17:09

I think the presence is gone with a lot of generations and a lot of people. And we my wife and I were just talking about customer service right now, with all these doctors' appointments she's been going on and everything. It's she's like, who is hiring the people in the front of these doctor's offices because you're in pain, you're coming up, and they're just like trying to just brush you away. And they you ask them, Hey, how are you doing? Good. What blah blah blah blah. Yeah. What's your birthday? Yeah. What's your birthday? What's what's the name? Yeah. And it's just like, man, we're losing that. And we had a a functional medicine doctor on here a couple of episodes ago, and he started a program called Eat More Like Jesus.

Stacy Shewey: 17:55

Oh.

Nick Houpt: 17:56

And he's over in Deland.

Stacy Shewey: 17:57

I need to connect with them.

Nick Houpt: 17:59

Yep, that's one of his programs. It's it's called Eat More Like Jesus. And he was sitting here with a shirt that said Eat More Like Jesus. So I think you guys would hit it off to connect you. So with leadership and and being a businesswoman because you were an entrepreneur and now you created this global movement and you're looking to start locally in Jacksonville and then move into some other places as well. What kind of strategy does that look like? How do you balance growing this nonprofit, caring for yourself, caring for your family, and caring for others all at the same time?

Stacy Shewey: 18:41

Well, it's an interesting question, just based on our conversation here, about trying to do all that does point back to we need to go back to a simpler time. I was just talking, we did a work retreat. There's three of us enhanced for life right now. So we went over to St. Petersburg and had a work retreat just to strategize for 2026 and and you know, disconnecting for three days. And I went to my phone and I'm like, oh my gosh, look at all the notifications between LinkedIn, texting, emails, WhatsApp, you know, it just gets overwhelming. And you can't do it well. There's you can't do all of this well. So really looking at how do we simplify life. And, you know, I I'm struggling with it because I have the Jacksonville project going on, where we have a project going on in Nigeria, Kenya, and India. So there's a lot of plates spinning, lots of you know, conversations going on and a lot of work. And so you do have have to remember to prioritize. And I think for me, it's just getting into a good routine every day and keeping in a good flow. So getting I get up at, you know, five and spend my time with the Lord in the Word. And that sets me off on the right path for the day. You know, and then by 8 a.m, you know, on the computer and phone calls and meetings and but then, you know, our nights are my husband and I sitting glass of wine or hot tonight's going to be hot chocolate in a movie for Friday night and our Jamies. So I I think you just have to stay aware of priorities and self-care as well too.

Nick Houpt: 20:53

Now if I'm someone sitting here listening to what you're saying and they're questioning if they're able to do that because they're so busy and everyone's so busy and moving so quickly, if someone's sitting there thinking how do I do that? What do I implement, what are a few things that you can tell them to put in place or some boundaries to put in place for themselves and for others?

Stacy Shewey: 21:20

Yeah, I again it goes back to priorities too. And so for me God first then your spouse then your children so those boundaries have to be making sure you're doing life in that order. And I found that if as a parent with young children if you focus all your energy onto your children and you neglect your spouse or your children become your first priority then you're off balanced and it's not the dynamic of the house is not going to work. And if you are putting your spouse first above the Lord it's not going to work. But when you do it in that order pecking order of God first then your spouse then your children I have found it to be proven that life will go smoother that way and so important to have your your relationship with your spouse be solid and raising your children. And I was on a retreat not too long ago probably about well two years ago and it was all focused on idols. What do you I what is your idols in your life? And I'm like oh this is I don't have any idols. This is going to be an easy retreat for me. I I don't idolize money I don't really idolize things. I don't care about that stuff. I really love relationships. I love my friends and coworkers and family and that's what's important to me. And as we kept digging deeper digging deeper I realized that I was so obsessed with my children that they were my idol. And it was shocking to me like oh yeah okay and my kids are you know in their 20s now and they I'm obsessed with their safety and launching them into the world and I worry and you know so yeah you can't do that.

Nick Houpt: 23:36

I catch myself worrying all the time too and with our 16 year old she's still not driving and I said to my wife I'm like I'm kind of ready for her to drive so we don't have to drive her everywhere. Yes. And she's like I am but I'd rather her not be driving right now just with how crazy it is because now we just have to worry about getting her somewhere. If she's driving now we have to worry about her getting herself somewhere in one piece. Yes. And I catch myself worrying about not so much what she's doing but like is she safe? Is everything going to be okay? And exactly same with the two year old even when my wife and the two year old go out it's like your brain just starts thinking all these negative thoughts of anything that could possibly happen and you worry about it.

Stacy Shewey: 24:25

Yes.

Nick Houpt: 24:26

And it's it's just like how do you turn that worry off and I don't think you ever can but is there anything that you do that helps kind of shift that focus from worry to trust and yeah it's trust in God.

Stacy Shewey: 24:44

Yeah you gotta trust in God that he's got them and they're in his care and I know you know my story of we lost our 24 year old son three years ago and I I have the Life 360 on my phone the app that tracks so I can see where my kids are and and so I I'm always I can never sleep if I know my kids are out on a Saturday night I gotta be checking and and when they're home safe then I can fall asleep. And it it really was shocking to me that it wasn't shocking but it was a aha like all that worry it didn't save Alex he still he he fell like 10 stories into a stone quarry off a a cliff by accident and it was late at night it was dark and super tragic and really really sad but I had no control I'm not in control of that. You have to be able to uh let go and let God and so that's that's what I work on is trusting in the Lord that the angels are going to surround them and we live in a fallen world and bad things are going to happen. And it's trusting in God that he will show us Romans 828 where he turns all things for good for those who are called according to his purpose. I have seen that in the last three years how God has used even the death of my son for good.

Nick Houpt: 26:35

So yeah definitely trust can you shine on that a little bit more because you had shared with me some of the things that happened after the passing of your son and people coming up to you and everything and can you share that with listeners of sure what kind of good unfolded from such a tragedy yeah I went on LinkedIn and I just I don't know why I was I in shock and I just wrote this post taken too soon and then I just put it like my my beautiful boy my beautiful boy how could he be gone and I don't remember what I wrote but I wrote something and it got over five million views.

Stacy Shewey: 27:20

It was 6000 likes 2000 comments it just like blew up on LinkedIn and then afterwards all of a sudden I'm being invited to go on radio stations that were broadcast in like 180 countries and to just share the gospel and I'm like I'm not a preacher I'm not a teacher you know but I was able to tell my story about how God is so good in all of this and Nick Alex died it was three days after I had breast cancer surgery so I was all torn up from the surgery I was on pain medications and and then this happened and so I had to go through radiation in the next two months after that and then my dad fell ill I had to careg for him my aunt fell ill I had to careg for her they both lost their lives then my mother was ejected from a golf cart broke her leg I caregifed for her for six months she got an infection and she passed away and then my mother-in-law so we lost five loved ones within 22 months and I had breast cancer I mean it it was crazy the way that I stayed sane was by pouring into other people and I found that when I took my focus off of myself if I sat around go oh poor me woe me look at how my life is full of sorrow and grief and mourning and I would have spun into a dark place and I would have been either an alcoholic or on antidepressants but I didn't need any of that because I had my circle of friends which is so important. We were talking about community and really having these good people in your lives to do life with so I had people to go to and I had God who brought me others by me just speaking about faith and how it's only God who could give you this unexplainable peace and joy in such a dark season that I had one guy from Canada call me up he sent me a message on LinkedIn and he's like I'm going through hard times but nothing compared to what you're going through and yet you speak of this God who's so good. I need I need to know this God. And so I can hear the desperation. So I said do you want to do a zoom call and he's like okay so we zoomed and I just shared I just shared how I get through my day and that's by you know making the decision either to run to Jesus or you can run from and be mad at God. And our family chose to run to his arms for comfort and after I got done he's like Stacy turns his camera he goes do you see that tree in my backyard? I'm like yeah and he's like can you see the rope hanging in there and he goes I was gonna hang myself this morning and then I wrote read your LinkedIn post and then you had this conversation with me. Wow and I'm like oh my gosh you know it we stayed in contact for the last three years we check in every once in a while and he's doing so much better now and he just came to Orlando for a meeting and he's like I want to meet you I said come stay with us so he stayed with my husband and I and my husband's like you don't even know this guy you're inviting him I'm like I trust yeah so he stayed and we shared and just going deep with people just being a good friend and that's what my son all the comments people made to me coming up his his celebration life he had like five people telling me Mrs Shui I want to tell you your son saved my life because when I was in my deepest darkest time he was a friend to me he listened to me and he cried with me and he was just there for me. It doesn't cost anything doesn't require any good skill other than listening and being empathetic and compassionate is all it requires. So slowing things down in this life making our life less complicated and focusing on relationships and people meaningful ones not surface level I think that's life changing. I have so many things I want to unpack in this if I'm someone sitting there listening or watching this right now dealing with loss not knowing what to do, where to turn what's one thing you would say to them I would say that you have to find somebody to talk to like you you can't do the grief, you can't do loss you can't fight an illness alone you can't do it alone. You have to find people who you can who can help carry the load and the burden I yeah I think that's that and you know surrender to the Lord is important. So those two things I would say mental health to keep of sound mind takes faith in God that He's got you and that his ways are higher higher than ours we maybe don't understand the whys in the moment but God will give you He will allow you to see the goodness in every situation if you ask. And he has allowed me to see like how many people through Alex's death I'm able to share the story and how many people's lives are being saved of it. You know like the gentleman in Canada who reached out to me.

Nick Houpt: 34:08

I mean lives are being saved just by stories of faith and and I think that it's just keeping of sound mind that you have to stay rooted in that and then like I said it's finding others now if I'm feeling like I don't have very many friendships or more so I feel that my relationships are surface level because I I think a lot a lot in this day and age now is just very surface level and I think there's like we said a major lack of presence and I'm actually reading a book called Slow Down right now because I'm I have businesses I'm building and the book launch and the podcast and it it my wife is sending me stuff of like just be present in every moment it'll hold how it's supposed to and it'll be fine. And this is the woman who's in major pain in her back right now and trying to figure everything out. What are some ways that you can connect on a deeper level with with people I'm big in one-to-one grabbing coffee people that I meet most of my work with Hands for Life my connections are found through LinkedIn so a lot of my intro meetings have to be on Zoom I'm big on if they're local let's go grab a cup of coffee let's sit down like you and I do that's how we met.

Stacy Shewey: 35:52

Yes let's go have coffee and get to know each other and you go deeper by asking the questions and being a good listener. Truly just I love a good story. I by the end of our meal in a restaurant I have the server's whole story you know because I ask questions and my kids like roll their eyes but I'm always asking questions about somebody tell me tell me who you are do you have children what do you do for a living just learning about other people and we what we love to do is because I was in hospitality and that's my gift is we love to have dinner parties. So instead of going out to a restaurant we invite people over and I love to invite different not like people who know each other. Yeah. Like I want you to meet this couple I think you guys are just going to have so much in common. And I think that's just so much fun to connect people and sit around a table and there's something sacred about breaking bread together and sharing food and my husband loves to cook. So I set a pretty table he cooks and and we just invite people to come gather. And we were saying like we hardly ever get a reciprocal offer to go to people's house for dinner. Like people don't do that anymore.

Nick Houpt: 37:17

But we pull out the china and the crystal and it's fun you know so my wife and I haven't done that in a very long time just with the hec hecnic life a two year old and the 16 year old and work and business and all of that. But I used to host dinner parties on a regular basis and that's what I would do too. And I didn't do it fancy or anything. I didn't own China at the time. But I had a fold up table, threw a nice tablecloth on but I would I would do the same thing where I would say oh this person would hit it off with that person, that person with this person and they never met each other and then I brought people together and we just had a good time. Everyone brought a different bottle of wine and we had the bar set up with all of that and there's a book called Never Eat Alone. Have you heard of that book? No. So it's all about I haven't read it in years but it it was my favorite book for a while and at the time when I read it for me it was all about networking and how to build a good network. And he that's something he recommended in the book was having dinner parties with people that you meet networking and friends and bringing people together and he was saying you could not even have chairs just throw pillows on the floor. It's just about bringing people together for the connection.

Speaker 2: 38:39

That's right.

Nick Houpt: 38:40

And it it sounds like you you and your husband are like my wife and I she's the designer so even for Thanksgiving she had the table dressed beautifully and it was just us it was fun. It was us it was the kids and my mom was in town and it just looked super nice and fancy and then I did all the cooking all day and we when a a lot of the dinner parties I would do would be Italian because it's easy and delicious homemade meatballs and all that kind of stuff.

Stacy Shewey: 39:13

Yeah inexpensive but if you have little kids Nick like when our kids were little we would invite the whole family over the kids are going playing you know and we're socializing and then you know the parents would just bring jammies and we'd put pillows and put a movie on and the kids would fall asleep. So you can do it any season of life.

Nick Houpt: 39:39

Don't buy into my excuses that's right do it.

Stacy Shewey: 39:42

Yes and even birthday parties oh my gosh we never had a traditional birthday party we're like who's the party for us adults had more fun than the kids did you know so we just tons of kids in the house and tons of parents and so much fun.

Nick Houpt: 40:00

Now, if I'm a parent, how do I balance? And this is selfish for me because being single and no kids for a long time while I built businesses and stuff, it was very easy looking back. And now I I said to my wife not that long ago, I'm like, man, if I would have known how this was with children, I would have did a lot more work back here. Yes. So I didn't have to put in this work right now. What's some advice you can give parents that are trying to figure out how to either build a business, be their own boss, or succeed in their workplace while still parenting and everything?

Stacy Shewey: 40:44

Gosh, we were entrepreneurs, and my husband and I owned our own hospitality company and we owned and operated historic inns with restaurants and event space and very labor-intensive work that we would do. So for us, the key to success with having the little ones and middle school and high school all those years was for the parents to be on the same page of roles and responsibilities and discipline. And so my husband, he can run the entire household without me. You know, I I would be up at our inn, which was two and a half hours away from our home. So I, you know, I found it very beautiful that my husband is able to cook the meals and do the laundry and pack the kids' lunch and you know, help them with homework and read them bedtime stories. And he was like a single parent. And then he would leave and I was the single parent, you know. Um, we had grand and grandpa next door to help me out since I don't cook. That was nice. So there's a benefit having, you know, families together to help each other. But in this busy world that we are in, my advice is still the same where it's priority because gosh, when I came into the studio just now and was filling out some paperwork, I asked your producer, like, it's today December 5th already. Oh my gosh. When he's like, I'm just getting used to writing 2025. And here the year's over. So time goes by so fast, and those children are so precious and it does fly. So in a blink of an eye, it's gone. So do not fixate on career and success and power and you know, climbing your way to the top, because that's not what's important. It is your relationships, it is your children, it is your spouse, it is your family, it's your friends. You know, the work will be there tomorrow.

Nick Houpt: 43:01

You're speaking my language here. So I I've been launching my my speaking business and everything, and that's one of my keynotes. It's called You're Missing It. Yes. And it it's crazy how children change that for you because I have this little girl now where it's just like she thinks everything's amazing, and it's stuff you're you walk past every day, and it makes you really stop. And I was reading something the other day, and it it was talking about something Buddha said about if you want to learn patience, hang out with a child. And I'm paraphrasing. That's wisdom. But it's it makes a lot of sense, and I think that a lot of people do put work first, and I've been guilty of it too. And my my wife calls me out on it as well. And people don't realize how fast it goes. And every when I became a parent, every person that had children, everyone just goes, it goes quick, it goes by fast, and to a point where I'm like, okay, I get it. Everyone's telling me that. What are some things or some practices to help people fully understand what their priorities are besides tilting the balance? There you go.

Stacy Shewey: 44:32

Start there.

Nick Houpt: 44:34

Hey, sorry for the interruption. I hope you are enjoying this episode. If you want to live a life well balanced, be sure to pick up our book, Tilting the Balance, a guided workbook for clarity, purpose, and transformation, available at tiltingthebalance.com. Now, back to your episode.

Stacy Shewey: 44:54

One thing I do want to say though, that came to my mind when we were talking it about uh longevity and health span, increasing longevity and health span, and what I learned over in Japan when I was there last month. And what I have focused on and reflected on was like our family members who have lived a long, happy life. Like my dad, he was 91 when he passed, and it was a very, it was a he passed because of a medical procedure that went wrong. So he would have had a lot more years left in him. And I look at my grandfather who lived into his 90s, and my grandmother, and and when I look at what is the secret to living a healthy and long life, and what I am finding is that it is a life without stress. And my husband lives like I'm the stressor in the family. There's usually one yes, there's one, and then the other one is just happy go lucky, right? So I take it all on for my husband, but he truly doesn't stress about things. And he gets up and he has his routine and he works out and he reads his Bible and goes to work and engages with his staff. He's a COO, so he makes sure like relationships are important in his work, and then he comes home and he cooks dinner and just relaxes and it's like flow so smoothly. Wow, yes. And you know, I'll be like, Do you know what happened today? And oh my gosh, I'm so upset, and this and that, you know. And he just laughs and shrugs it off, and he's like, Don't worry about it, it'll be better better tomorrow. And so I'm I'm trying to learn how to live a stress-free life, but I know that that is the secret. I'm not saying I'm doing it well, but I think that's something we should all strive for. Yeah. Is less stress in our lives and enjoy our children, enjoy the moments, enjoy life. It's, you know, and in the I did an article on the difference between joy and happiness.

Nick Houpt: 47:26

I love that. Can we talk about that? What is the difference between joy and happiness?

Stacy Shewey: 47:30

Yeah, well, happiness is circumstances, right? And it's things can make you happy, but it's temporary. Happiness is based off of what's going on around you.

Nick Houpt: 47:42

I got a new car, I'm happy I'm happy.

Stacy Shewey: 47:44

I'm happy right now, you know, and then the car gets old or it gets dinged up, and there goes that happiness, right? But joy is just that inner peace, that inner like warmth, that feeling where you know things don't matter. And when when you have that joy, you're not gonna have that stress. And it's all connected. It really is. And you know, I I was able to find joy in dark times. And I think it has to do with your outlook and how you're seeing the world and how you're viewing uh your day. So if you look for goodness, you're gonna find it. If you're looking for ugliness, division, strife, and you're angry all the time, you're gonna find that too. So what lens are you looking through? So those rose-colored.

Nick Houpt: 48:57

You're you're preaching right now because my wife is gonna be watching this and she's gonna be pointing her finger at me saying, You really need to listen to her more often. You're making me just think about all the stuff I've been stressed out about lately. And how much it's like, man, I just need to slow down and fully get present in in what I'm doing and understanding that the stuff I'm worried about is the small stuff. It's not a big deal.

Speaker 2: 49:25

Yeah.

Nick Houpt: 49:26

And we kind of touched on on my next question. So I think it might be a little bit of the same, but being on the life well balanced podcast, what does a life well balanced look like to you?

Stacy Shewey: 49:38

To me, uh it does I I think that taking time to do the things that bring you joy and recognizing in recognizing what your calling is in life and focusing on that in Japan, they have the word iky guy. And so we got to study with the one of the world's experts in longevity and spend an afternoon in his home and talking about iky guy. So you have your big icky guy and then you have little icky guys, and I equate it to your big icky guy is like your calling in life, and then your little icky guys are your assignments. So when you know, when you have taken the time to stop and reflect on what is your calling in life? What is your purpose? What brings you joy? What are you being pulled forward? Using all the God-given gifts that you're given, and what is it that when you're doing it, you're in this utopia flow effortlessly. Yes. And then you have your assignments, you know, so like you have different assignments, but they should support your calling. So your little Eaky guys support your big Ekey guy. So, like, you're in an assignment right now of being a father to young children. So what's required out of your day in this season of life is going to be very different when your kids are my kid's age and they're out of the house and they're launched. So it's important that you know what your calling is. Do you know what your calling is? What's your calling?

Nick Houpt: 51:43

I feel like my calling is to impact as many people as I can to be the best version of themselves and to help them understand presence and joy in fulfillment. And I I feel that that was a lot different for me before I had children, and so I think that what you're saying about IckyGuy, it does tie into where I've wanted to be a speaker for so long. And I started and I was speaking on certain topics and everything, and now once the kids came in, it flipped everything to really guide me toward that presence and that joy. And my my little one's middle name is Joy. And so I feel like that's what my calling is is to leave this world better than when I came to it. That makes sense.

Stacy Shewey: 52:49

And that will n not change. So you could be 80, and that's still gonna be your calling. But you have your little leaky guys. So describe to me what your little leaky guys are.

Nick Houpt: 53:01

What are your well, I think some of the little ones is stuff like this podcast, getting the message out there, taking care of the family, writing the book, launching the book, and marketing the company. I I feel like I'm just saying tasks that I need to that I need to do throughout my days of really getting it done, getting the message out.

Stacy Shewey: 53:30

Yeah, and that all supports all those little things, tasks, that all supports your big calling. So it's all connected. So I feel that, you know, our society going back to what Hands for Life is doing, is that we're trying to focus on giving our seniors purpose in life. And I think that it's very important that we do change the world and our aging population is considered inherently less valuable when you stop working and you're not contributing to the economy. People think that you're you're not as important, you're not as valuable. But uh we need to teach this uh and go back to some cultures do it better than we're doing, of uh just respecting and honoring our elders and allowing them to have purpose and continue to have assignments to fulfill their big geeky guy. And we shut them down, right? A lot of times. It's like, oh, you're gonna go into an assist a living now because I'm busy and you know, and you're old and you're slowing me down. Yes, yes. So yeah, that's all connected into our conversation, is that just respecting people, loving people, honoring people, that's going to be a way that brings you joy.

Nick Houpt: 55:12

And it it's funny, all the things that you're talking about, we we featured in Tilting the Balance. We we talk about Ikeguy in there, we talk about purpose and everything, and so we are just we were meant to sit down and have this conversation.

Speaker 2: 55:28

See, there's truth in it.

Nick Houpt: 55:29

Yeah. And so if I'm someone listening, what is one thing that we haven't covered or that we have covered that you want to deliver to them to take home with?

Stacy Shewey: 55:45

Hmm. I think one thing that I would want to leave with the listeners is that the importance of love, I think that when you lead with love, it just naturally solves everything. If we could all our first and second commandments are about love and love your neighbor as yourself. And if we could all just really concentrate on going through our day and untangling the mess and just cover it in love and just kind words and just look for opportunities to be kind in this world because that's that's what we need most right now.

Nick Houpt: 56:41

Yeah. Well said. Thanks. So we're coming to the end here. Where can people find you?

Stacy Shewey: 56:49

We're all over social media. So hands for life. It's the word hands, the number four life, and our website is h4lworld.org. So hthenum fourlworld.org. Awesome.

Nick Houpt: 57:07

Awesome.

Stacy Shewey: 57:08

Yeah.

Nick Houpt: 57:09

We always end our episode with what we call balanced or unbalanced. So I'm gonna ask you a series of speed round questions. Okay. And you're gonna tell me if it's balanced or unbalanced. You can elaborate more if you want. If you want to keep moving through, we can go that route too. Sound good?

Speaker 2: 57:30

Okay.

Nick Houpt: 57:31

Are you ready? Bring it in. All right. Balanced or unbalanced. Pushing forward when you're exhausted because people are counting on you.

Stacy Shewey: 57:41

Oh, unbalanced. Okay.

Nick Houpt: 57:45

Loving your work so much that you lose yourself in it.

Stacy Shewey: 57:50

Unbalanced.

Nick Houpt: 57:51

Unbalanced. Balanced or unbalanced. Feeling responsible for changing the world. Balanced. Finding meaning in tragedy.

Stacy Shewey: 58:02

Balanced.

Nick Houpt: 58:03

Letting grief change the way you lead. Balanced. Taking a day off in the middle of the week.

Stacy Shewey: 58:12

Oh, that's balanced. Your boss might not think so.

Nick Houpt: 58:17

We had a guy on here, Rob Swimer, and he always says, disconnect to reconnect. Yes. Balanced or unbalanced, working through the weekend because inspiration strikes.

Stacy Shewey: 58:28

I would say that's balanced.

Nick Houpt: 58:31

Depending on what you have going on that weekend.

Stacy Shewey: 58:33

Yeah. Yeah. And depending on if you have flexibility during the week. You know, if you are in a job that you are required to be there and expectations and your weekend is your own time, then jot down your inspiration on a notepad or in your phone and visit it during the week.

Nick Houpt: 58:57

Yeah.

Stacy Shewey: 58:57

Yeah.

Nick Houpt: 58:59

Balanced or unbalanced, hearing a calling and stepping toward it before you understand it.

Speaker 2: 59:06

Oh, I did that. So I can get a lot of things.

Nick Houpt: 59:08

I thought you would like balanced carrying the stories of the people you serve.

Speaker 2: 59:15

That's balanced and beautiful. Yeah.

Nick Houpt: 59:18

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 59:19

We do that every day.

Nick Houpt: 59:21

Balanced or unbalanced, coming on the Life Well Balanced podcast.

Stacy Shewey: 59:26

It's definitely balanced. Time well spent. Awesome.

Nick Houpt: 59:29

Well, I truly appreciate you coming out here with us and hanging out, and this has been such a wonderful episode. And I feel so calm and ready to to reflect on how I've been the last couple of weeks and see what changes I can implement and bring that to a a little date night tomorrow with my wife because Gigi's in town.

Speaker 2: 59:53

Yay.

Nick Houpt: 59:54

So I truly, truly appreciate your time, your energy, and your knowledge. And for you coming out here. Thank you so much. Thank you.

Speaker 2: 1:00:03

It's been fun.

Nick Houpt: 1:00:10

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